Uncharted territory

Oh, how I love the path of parenthood!

Ha.Ha.Ha.

I am actually being truthful, even if there is a slight edge of sarcasm dripping all over those words. :)

As I'm sure you know, D is approaching an age that requires two digits to write down - the big 1-0. Every now and then I'm like, "OMG... I really have an almost-10-year-old kid?!" It really just doesn't seem like he should be that old yet. He's also becoming a moody/obnoxious adolescent. I am NOT looking forward to the attitude. He has too much of me in him there. But, he's also been a little bit of an attention magnet lately. I'm kind of hoping that maybe some of y'all will have a little insight to share here. I don't exactly know how to handle it.

He hasn't been doing it for a long time (really, maybe a couple of weeks at most). He'll get into a mood and if something goes wrong he'll be all, "I hate my life" or "I wish I was dead because it's better in heaven than it is here" or something like that. I have tried to explain to him that he doesn't have it so bad at all, but I do actually understand that it doesn't really work when I say that. He's at the age where it's all about him all the time and he really has a very hard time seeing outside that circle. I know that's how kids his age are, but it doesn't stop me from trying to explain that he's in pretty decent shape compared to a lot of unfortunate kids in the world. It just bothers me that he gets like that. I don't 100% remember how I was at that age. I'm sure I was a bit of a drama queen at times, but I cannot remember ever saying that I'd rather be dead because it's better in heaven. Maybe my mom can help me out there and let me know how awful I was. :)

I know that part of it is the attention seeking that he's after. He's the oldest kid. He's old enough to do a lot of stuff for himself now and I don't have to do every little thing for him like I used to do. I am at home all day with the girls and I do have to do just about every little thing for them. Even at the end of the day when hubby gets home, I still can't stop and spend as much time with D as I really need to. My time with him has gotten cut short over the years as we've added to the family. He sometimes feels like he doesn't get any time with me now because of E's birth. I know I need to make the effort, but it's hard when you have to take care of everything all the time. Hubby does tend to be out of town with work a lot, which leaves me to take care of everything else at home. 

I guess I'm just trying to find out if anyone can tell me anything about this particular age and the moods and things he's been saying. I don't know if I should be worried about anything or if this is just a phase that he's going through. Part of me feels like it's just a phase, but then there's that tiny part that realizes that there have been many news stories of kids killing themselves or something. I just don't want to be someone who misses a sign somewhere. He has given no indication that anything is wrong. I talk to him every day after school to find out how his day was. He is usually happy. He is only ever unhappy when he's had a not so great day at school either because he was talking too much or he got in trouble. I don't feel like I've missed any signs. We have talks every now and then and I try to keep the communication open and not just discipline related. I want him to know and feel like he can come to me if he has a problem. 

I may be over-thinking all of it. I do have a tendency to do that. But really, can you blame me? With the way our society has been over the last 5 years, I have to be on my toes about this kind of thing. The more I think over and over about it, the more I feel like it's just a phase. I'm going to do my very best to be extra attentive to him and try to make sure he knows that I have not forgotten about him.

If anyone has any tips or advice, I welcome it! Thanks!