Uncharted territory

Oh, how I love the path of parenthood!

Ha.Ha.Ha.

I am actually being truthful, even if there is a slight edge of sarcasm dripping all over those words. :)

As I'm sure you know, D is approaching an age that requires two digits to write down - the big 1-0. Every now and then I'm like, "OMG... I really have an almost-10-year-old kid?!" It really just doesn't seem like he should be that old yet. He's also becoming a moody/obnoxious adolescent. I am NOT looking forward to the attitude. He has too much of me in him there. But, he's also been a little bit of an attention magnet lately. I'm kind of hoping that maybe some of y'all will have a little insight to share here. I don't exactly know how to handle it.

He hasn't been doing it for a long time (really, maybe a couple of weeks at most). He'll get into a mood and if something goes wrong he'll be all, "I hate my life" or "I wish I was dead because it's better in heaven than it is here" or something like that. I have tried to explain to him that he doesn't have it so bad at all, but I do actually understand that it doesn't really work when I say that. He's at the age where it's all about him all the time and he really has a very hard time seeing outside that circle. I know that's how kids his age are, but it doesn't stop me from trying to explain that he's in pretty decent shape compared to a lot of unfortunate kids in the world. It just bothers me that he gets like that. I don't 100% remember how I was at that age. I'm sure I was a bit of a drama queen at times, but I cannot remember ever saying that I'd rather be dead because it's better in heaven. Maybe my mom can help me out there and let me know how awful I was. :)

I know that part of it is the attention seeking that he's after. He's the oldest kid. He's old enough to do a lot of stuff for himself now and I don't have to do every little thing for him like I used to do. I am at home all day with the girls and I do have to do just about every little thing for them. Even at the end of the day when hubby gets home, I still can't stop and spend as much time with D as I really need to. My time with him has gotten cut short over the years as we've added to the family. He sometimes feels like he doesn't get any time with me now because of E's birth. I know I need to make the effort, but it's hard when you have to take care of everything all the time. Hubby does tend to be out of town with work a lot, which leaves me to take care of everything else at home. 

I guess I'm just trying to find out if anyone can tell me anything about this particular age and the moods and things he's been saying. I don't know if I should be worried about anything or if this is just a phase that he's going through. Part of me feels like it's just a phase, but then there's that tiny part that realizes that there have been many news stories of kids killing themselves or something. I just don't want to be someone who misses a sign somewhere. He has given no indication that anything is wrong. I talk to him every day after school to find out how his day was. He is usually happy. He is only ever unhappy when he's had a not so great day at school either because he was talking too much or he got in trouble. I don't feel like I've missed any signs. We have talks every now and then and I try to keep the communication open and not just discipline related. I want him to know and feel like he can come to me if he has a problem. 

I may be over-thinking all of it. I do have a tendency to do that. But really, can you blame me? With the way our society has been over the last 5 years, I have to be on my toes about this kind of thing. The more I think over and over about it, the more I feel like it's just a phase. I'm going to do my very best to be extra attentive to him and try to make sure he knows that I have not forgotten about him.

If anyone has any tips or advice, I welcome it! Thanks!

babies and big girls

B is a big girl. She'll even tell you that herself. I was playing with E the other day and getting her to stand some and put weight on her legs and calling her a big girl. B says "She not big girl. I'm big girl." I just had to laugh. Later that same day, I was again playing with the baby and B did something (I cannot remember what) that made me tell her to move, but I accidentally called her by her brother's name. Well, apparently, once you have more than 2 kids that can happen! So, she says, "I'm not bubba. I'm B." She did actually say her name though. She's too funny. But she is also a big girl. She's done so well with potty training since we started that I decided to just let her be 'all panties all the time' now. She used to wear pull ups at night mainly because I didn't want to be woken up in the middle of the night if she'd had an accident. And she would certainly do that. So, we're making sure she's gone to the bathroom right before bed and that she's put up the cups at least an hour before bed. She's been perfectly fine all week long. I'm sure that if she ever got of schedule at all, we'd be in for an accident, but as long as we stick to the way we normally do things here, she'll be fine.

E is growing so quickly too... She's still a baby, but before I know it, she'll be toddling around and getting into everything. She turned 5 months old today. It doesn't seem like it's been 5 months since I had a baby. She is doing well with her eating. She eats that dried cereal like a champ. Of course, I have to mix homemade applesauce or pears in it first. B never ate that stuff. I tried and tried with her, but she just would not eat it. I got her to take it from a bottle a few times, but she couldn't stand the consistency. I ended up having to get the jarred cereal for her. That is a bit more expensive, so I'm very glad that E is taking to this kind. 

I have been reading the blog of a woman who just lost her baby. She started the blog while she was pregnant because her baby girl was sick. She had a kidney disease and the doctors had basically told her that the chances of her baby girl living after birth were slim to none. They, of course, still prayed that God would heal their baby, but had to go through the motions and preparations that come with death. They have 2 older children too. I have often thought and prayed for this family. I am incredibly heartbroken that the doctors were right and this precious life was only here for 5 hours. But I am happy because I know that she is with God now and her body is made perfect. I cannot even begin to imagine what her mother is feeling. All throughout the blog, she is very honest about her emotions throughout everything. They knew early on that their baby was sick and have had to deal with congratulations from strangers about the impending arrival while they are planning her funeral service because it was highly unlikely that she'd survive after she was born. I just can't fathom how you deal with that. I know that this mother has extreme faith. Her words inspired me because she was so raw and honest with her human faults and weaknesses, but she still realized Who was in control of it all. I pray that if I ever have to go through something like that, that I will be able to humble myself enough to allow God to work His glory through my pain. 

I would sit and just cry when I read her posts and when I came across other posts by people about this kind of thing. There is an organization called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep that has photographers who donate their time to provide free portraits for families who have lost their babies after birth. I will admit that at first, I didn't really understand why anyone would want a picture of that. However, after having 3 kids myself... I get it. You spend 9 months or so carrying this miracle inside you, praying that everything will be okay when he/she finally appears and all you want to do is hold them and kiss them and cuddle them. Babies are just so incredibly precious. They are entirely dependent on you and it's so powerful to know that God has entrusted you with this tiny person. Well, what if this tiny person was not going to be able to stay with you after birth? The part of me that wants to close everyone off is the part of me that doesn't like the idea of having those kinds of pictures. I wouldn't want to re-live the pain of losing my baby. However, now I know that I would rather have these precious pictures to remind me that my baby is made whole again and that he/she was a blessing even in the short time that we had him/her. 

I just had these random thoughts going on tonight. Please remember the above mentioned family in your prayers. Though they knew it would happen this way, it doesn't diminish the pain that they feel in her loss. God will work His glory in their pain. His power is made perfect in our weakness. They just need some extra love and support right now.

Spring is in the air

It's amazing how quickly the time passes. I looked and saw that it had been almost 2 whole months since I last posted anything and was rather surprised. I knew it had been a little while, but not 2 months! 

Anyway, things are finally settling down from the holiday season and we're getting into a groove with me home now. The money is a little tighter than I'd like it to be, and we may have to do some more cuts to make it stretch a little more. We're also trying to save for a big family thing this year, because B is old enough to enjoy it and we want to do it before D gets too old to enjoy it. We're not really worried about E yet. Hubby also wants to do something for our anniversary this year since it will be our 5th wedding anniversary. I don't really want to do anything, except maybe have both sets of parents keep the kids for the weekend and let us just be by ourselves. Sleep would be a nice gift. :)

B is a potty trained princess now! I still haven't quite gotten brave enough to let her go to bed at night with just panties on (I make her wear a night-time pull up), but she is a pro in Dora undies during the day time. She can wipe herself (except for when she's done #2) but she can't get the paper herself yet. Baby steps though. She's been great. She even handles a 2 hour car ride or a trip to the store without having an accident. 

I haven't been quite as crafty as I thought I might be, but that's mainly because being crafty costs money that I don't have right now. I did make an Easter wreath for my door this year.

I am very happy with it. I actually did it the way that you are technically "supposed" to do them - using a wire work wreath form. It definitely looks more even than the others I've done. I'd love to make one for football season this year, but we'll see how that works out.

I don't know if I've said it or not, but I started selling Avon to see if that could help bring in some money, but it really hasn't done anything spectacular (not that I expected it to do that). In all reality, I am not cut out to sell a product to someone. I was not gifted with the ability to put myself out there. I've always been a more "behind the scenes" kind of person when it comes to a job. The position I left at work was a good one for me because I didn't have to deal with too many people face to face. When I had to deal with banks and sites on different issues, I just emailed. It was great. I WAS gifted with wonderful articulation when it comes to writing and emailing, so I was always able to get my point across without too many episodes of miscommunication. I really wish there was something I could do at home (maybe from my computer) that I could maybe invest an hour or two per day and just make a little side money (oh, and it would have to be legit). The problem with it is that I wouldn't always know when those two hours would work out AND I don't know many job opportunities there are that would fit my circumstances. When I sat down and started thinking about how I'd make money with Avon, I realized that it is darn near impossible for me to have a thriving business with it. Yeah, I might be able to make a little extra $30-$50 every now and then, but that's about it. I don't know enough people and as I mentioned before, I'm not cut out to be the kind of person who goes out and pushes a product. If I wanted to have Avon replace the job I left, I'd have to sell over $1400 worth of product EVERY TWO WEEKS to come close to what I made - which wasn't all that much, so don't think it's a lot. According to Avon, the average customer spends about $25 per order. I don't know who their average customer is, but my average customers only spend about $15 per order. But, to give the benefit of the doubt, if I wanted to sell that much stuff, I'd have to have around 55-60 customers - again, EVERY TWO WEEKS. Of course, I never expected this to be a replacement job. After all, if this was going to be a replacement job, I would have to be willing to pour 40+ hours a week into it and I'd probably have to have the girls in daycare because there's not way I can pour 40+ hours a week into a job and be able to be a SAHM too. So, I'm a little irked with them for it. I've had some regular customers though, so as long as it's not actually costing me money, I'll continue to sell it. If it gets to the point where I'm coming out of my own money every campaign, then I'll have to re-evaluate.

Speaking of work... I have a prayer request. I can't go into a lot of detail about it because this is a public blog and I don't know how many people who work with my hubby might see it. Just know that I covet your prayers for him right now. He's dealing with a lot of stress and frustration and I don't know how to help. I am trying to be there for him as much as I can and I support him 100%. We're trying to seek God's guidance but it's not as clear as we'd hope. 

Switching gears again...

I made cupcakes for D's class party on Valentine's Day. Now that I'm a SAHM, I can try to be a better school parent. Hey, it's a thought, right? Anyway, going with the theme of love and pink and chocolate, I made strawberry cupcakes with homemade chocolate buttercream icing. Sounds yummy, but I was actually not as pleased with them. The cupcakes were fine, but I didn't really like the icing. I need to hunt up another recipe to see if they'd taste any different.

  
D's class party went well. He racked up on the candy, of course. I was able to talk to his teacher about upcoming things. They are planning a trip to the state capitol in May, so I'll be headed there too. 

Right after Valentine's Day was Mardi Gras week for the kids here. I don't really understand the big deal with Mardi Gras. To me it seems like just an excuse for people to party and get inebriated with various drinks and/or other things. Oh, and to spend ungodly amounts of money to wear a formal dress or tux that you have to have cleaned the very next day because of how gross it got at a ball. Now, to be fair, not all the societies have that reputation (thank goodness!). Hubby and I went to the Juno Ball last year and I felt it was very respectable - at least, it was while we were there. Anyway, so this year for Mardi Gras, the school system decided to be out all week instead of the normal 3 days. Hubby was out of town for work, so we took the opportunity to head up to my parents' house to visit and be of some assistance with my grandmothers. We had a great time. D was able to do his "How to be a Pirate in 7 days or less" book with GranGran and he managed to convince GranDad to start building him a fort/tree house thing. 

Wow, this post is getting long. :) Well, that really about catches everything up anyway. There's not a lot of other stuff going on right now.  Oh wait, yeah there is... We've been visiting the First Baptist Church in our area for almost a year now. We haven't been going every single Sunday and Wednesday, but we've been a lot. The people there are really nice and we really like the pastor. After much thought and prayer about it, I decided to move my membership there. We'd visited other churches in the area too, but I had not moved my letter from FBCF yet. So, this will be my first church move as a Christian. Before Sunday, I had been a member of FBCF ever since I became a Christian 17 years ago. I was the only one to move my letter, but that's mainly because hubby is Catholic and I don't know exactly how that works on that end. I've never asked him to convert to being Southern Baptist for me because I know that he understands and believes in the same basic Christian principles that I do. Because of that, I don't care how he chooses to worship. Now, he has gone to church with me every time I've gone and he's even gone by himself on occasion. He says he enjoys going to that church with me and I'm okay with that. If you're a Christian, I don't really see how it matters where you choose to worship and if you've been one "denomination" and you start going to another, why does that make you change? I don't know. I would not ask him to join the church with me unless he wanted to do so and in my opinion, even if he did join it, it wouldn't make him any less of a Catholic.

I digress.... I joined the church on Sunday and I look forward to having my family there, growing in God. I'm also hoping to join the choir because I do so love to sing! :) 

Okay, that actually does it for now. Maybe I can manage to post a little more often than every 2 months. 

Potty training

As mentioned in an earlier post, we had decided to take the leap and really focus on getting B potty trained this week. She had been exhibiting signs of readiness before E was born, but we couldn't focus on it due to E's impending arrival. Studies say that whenever a big change is coming, you shouldn't attempt to potty train a toddler because it will be too much for them to handle. Toddlers don't have all the same resources to cope with stressful things as adults do, and with the addition of a new sibling, it would have been too much for her. She had to adjust to having a baby in the house who cries and needs near-constant attention. She's also had to adjust to losing some of the time and attention that she got from us. She has done remarkably well. She hasn't shown any kind of jealousy towards E. She has kind of regressed in her eating (she wants us to feed her again) but she only does that when she's almost done eating or when she's sleepy. So anyway, since she has been doing so well with everything (which I'm sure is part of her easy-going temperament that she gets from her dad), we started major potty training this week, after getting home from taking D to school every morning.


On Monday, after we got home and ate breakfast, I put her cotton training pants on her, moved her potty in the kitchen, and we pretty much stayed in there all day. The kitchen/breakfast area is right by the living room, where E's swing is, so that's why we did it in there. I couldn't stay in the bathroom all day when I have E to take care of as well. I also didn't want to run the risk of her having an accident on my carpet. I already don't like it, but I didn't really feel like cleaning pee... B had 3 accidents on Monday before she made it to the potty. I was expecting accidents, so I didn't get upset with her or anything. I just calmly went to her and explained it all each time so she'd understand what she needed to do. 

On Tuesday, I think she only had one or two accidents and ended up using the potty 3 times. No number 2 yet, just number 1, but I'm okay with that.


On Wednesday, after we started, she had no accidents. I decided to start putting pull-ups on her instead of the cotton pants because she was beginning to understand the sensation of having to pee and wasn't going in her pants anymore. 

On Thursday, she was still doing great during the day. We haven't broached the subject of night-time yet, and at this point she is still doing number 2 in her diaper, but she's doing great.


Friday (today) has been a good day too. She's doing great with remembering to go potty. She actually did a number 2 in her potty today too! Of course, she didn't quite finish there... She finished in her pull up later, but hey - it's a start! 

We'll probably use this weekend to work on her staying dry at night (which she already does pretty well with by herself) and I feel like she'll be able to start wearing her big girl panties next week. I'm so excited about that! I'm just so glad that she's done so well and hasn't fought about it at all! God has blessed me with such an easy going child! Of course, we'll see how miss E does when she gets older ;) I have a feeling she'll be a little more like me :P haha... 


That's all for now - oh wait! I totally have more craft projects that I'm going to work on soon and I'll post pictures! And, I am planning to make cupcakes for D's class on Valentines' day with super neat different colored cupcakes!! 

Okay, that's it, I promise :)

January ramblings

I love chocolate milk. I think the only reason I felt like starting off like that is because I happened to be drinking a glass of nice, cold chocolate milk. I'm not terribly picky about my chocolate milk (mainly because if it's got chocolate in it, it's usually good) but I do prefer the hand made goodness that is Hershey's chocolate syrup being stirred into a glass of cold 2% milk. Ahhh... it's the simple things :)  

Also, I love the way B says chocolate milk. It's so cute. I made a cup for her today and she says "choquit milk." Sounds like chaw-quit... haha.. I love it. 

B has been doing okay with the potty training these last two days. Of course, now that I've said that, she'll probably revert and we'll have to start ALL over again. When we started yesterday, she had 3 accidents in her cloth training pants and one good tinkle in the potty before we put the diaper back on so she could go to bed. It was okay though. We didn't get upset about it. I just cleaned up where she messed (we were in the kitchen all day, so no carpet probs - yay) and kept repeating that we needed to hurry to the potty if she felt like she needed to tinkle. And, just so we all know... I don't say "tinkle" when I talk to her about it. I tell her exactly what it is, I just didn't think I wanted to see "pee" all over my blog :) This morning, I did try to see if she would go before we left to take D to school, but she didn't right away, and we didn't have the time to sit and wait. So, she ended up going in her pull-up before we got back and got situated to start for today. It's no biggie though. She did have one accident this morning after we got started, but she ended up using the potty 3 times today! Once was a little rough. She's so used to wearing a diaper that she's afraid she's going to get it all over her if she's not wearing one. The second time was a bit better and the third time was like she just sat down and did it with no fussing at all. I think that maybe, if we keep at it all week, she'll at least have the Number 1 part down. As for the Number 2.... that's another story. We've been talking about how she needs to do that in the potty as well, but she never went yesterday. I knew she'd need to go today and every time I saw her make a motion to go hide, I asked if she wanted me to put the potty somewhere so I wouldn't see her. She said no. I took 5 minutes tonight to go get the peas cooking on the stove and that's when she did it. Luckily, it wasn't bad. She was wearing a pull-up instead of her cotton training pants, so we just dumped it in the toilet and cleaned up. No probs. I know it will take a little while to get her trained on that one though. It's usually harder to do. 

I need to find some way to wake myself up in the mornings and get more motivated. Now that I'm at home, I need to start an exercise routine. I feel so blah all the time. I don't get enough rest and part of that is my fault and the other part is because I am still breastfeeding some and my baby doesn't quite sleep through the night yet. I tell ya, the whole breastfeeding thing was a different go-round this time. D and B were great. I was able to go 4 months with D and 3 months with B without having to supplement any type of formula. The only reason I had to start supplementing formula was because I had started back to school and work and my pumping schedule didn't match their feeding schedules so my supply dwindled. With E, I thought it was going to be better, even easier. She started off so much better. She didn't have any problems latching and it seemed like she would nurse for at least 10 minutes per side. I never felt full after feeding her, but I guess she never really was as efficient as she should have been. According to the doctor's scales, by the time she was a month old, she was still 4 ounces lower than her birth weight. That's a little low. Usually, they are at or over it by then. I had to start adding a couple of ounces of formula after every feeding. Now, luckily, I do still breastfeed. If/when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she doesn't get a bottle. During the day, I will nurse her for as long as she wants to nurse and if she's still hungry, I'll make her a bottle too. She's doing well with it. She still enjoys nursing and I am very glad that I can still do it for her. I know that I've just had way to much stress and my body has just decided that it's going to combat all the stress by not producing enough supply to feed my baby... So, I'm working with what I've got. I try to stay hydrated and I've taken supplements to help increase my supply. I don't know that it works all that well, but as long as I'm still able to nurse her, I will do it. I enjoy this time. 

E is so much more vocal than either D or B were at this age too. She will just coo at me all the time. It's so precious, especially when she's nursing. She'll be eating and looking at me and she'll just stop and smile and start cooing. I love it!! 

Back to the need for motivation... I love how sidetracked I can get :)

I really really want and need to get an exercise routine going, but I don't really know what to do. I loathe the gym and treadmills. Did you see my verb usage there? I didn't say hate. I LOATHE them. I guess I probably wouldn't feel too bad about them if I had the energy required to maintain a membership. I have no energy. I don't just sit around all day long doing nothing. I have enough energy to make sure my kids are taken care of and that I've got supper cooked and dishes washed and clothes washed. I just don't really have the energy to do anything else. I'd really love if I could catch a nap every day. E usually naps around noon-ish, after she's eaten, but B won't lay down unless you make her. She still needs to take naps, but I can't fight with her about them. I think I would have more energy in the afternoons/evenings if I could catch a 1-2 hour nap. Maybe :) 

I need to exercise so I can get back in shape. I have the hardest time trying to get back in shape after having kids.... Ugh!! It's so funny. When I was pregnant with B and when I was pregnant with E, I started off being way heavier than I should have been. When I was pregnant with D, I was about 15 pounds over my lowest high school weight, and then I gained 40 pounds with him. I was never able to lose it all. When I got pregnant with B, I was about 20 pounds heavier than my starting point with D (meaning 35 pounds heavier than my high school weight) but I only gained 20 pounds during that pregnancy. With E, I was about 10 pounds heavier than my starting point with B (meaning 45 pounds heavier than my high school weight) and I probably only gained a total of 10-15 pounds with her. I had basically the same ending pregnancy weight with all three kids, and I have yet to be able to lose it at all. It seems like the only time I lost weight was when I was pregnant! Yeah, I'm not quite ready to go through that again... yet.

Argh... I know that losing weight would be a bit easier if I got enough sleep, so since it's so close to midnight here.... I might ought to hit the sack!

Staying Home...

Tomorrow is supposed to be my first official day back to work after being out these last 12 weeks.... 12 weeks!! I canNOT believe that it has already been 12 weeks. My sweet baby was 12 weeks old yesterday and will be 3 months old next Sunday!! AHHHH!! Where has the time gone?! Well, on the plus side - I am getting to stay home with my babies. Yay! At least, we're definitely giving it a go. I turned in my badge and key to work 2 days before B's birthday. I wanted to leave in a way that would be okay for me to come back if the $$ didn't work out for me to stay home anymore. 

So, I started selling Avon (and if you know anyone who uses it or would use it - hook a sista up :) haha!) and I've made a few sales with it. Some ladies who work over off Wall Street with hubby may hopefully turn out to be pretty good customers. I do not expect to sell enough to completely replace the money I was making at work, but I figure any money that I can bring in would be great. 


I started doing some crafty type things that I've been seeing on Pinterest during some of my time off. During Christmas, I made some really cute ice cream cone Christmas trees with the kids. I don't have a picture on here I can post, but they were very fun to make and tasted good too! I made a couple of Valentine's Day wreaths for my mom. I've made wreaths before and I would love to make more of them, but it costs a good bit of money for the supplies and I can't just make them if I don't have anyone that would buy them. The Valentine's Day wreaths I made were made with stuff I still had on hand at home. 

The first Valentine's Day wreath

The second Valentine's Day wreath

I also did some furniture stuff. Unfortunately, I have no "before" pictures so you can't see how in need of this refurbishing they were. The girls had a white dresser in their room that has been in my family for a long time. There was nothing really special about it or anything, but mom used it for all of us when we were little and it's a great little dresser. I took some off-white paint and repainted it, then I put a metallic glaze on it to make it look a little antiqued. Got new hardware from Hobby Lobby (I'm in love with that place!!) and Voila!

The finished product!

 

D had a desk in his room and I cannot for the life of me remember where it came from. It was a really awful yellow color, but it was pretty sturdy and it's a good size. I decided I wanted to do it in a brown color so it would match the stuff in his room. I sanded it down good and went ahead and put a coat of the off-white paint on it. Then I used another metallic glaze in a burnt brownish-copper color.

Dylan's finished desk

M had her birthday the day after B turned 3, so I made her a present from an idea I found on Pinterest (my new fave place!). It is a picture frame that I spray painted navy blue and then glitter spray painted. I stapled/hot-glued a piece of burlap fabric on which I had painted an "M" to the back of the frame. I made a felt flower (so cute) and glued it to the corner. It's an earring hanger! I would love one myself, but I don't have any really artsy looking earrings to hang on it. M has a lot of really pretty, artsy, eclectic looking jewelry and I thought it would look really great with her earrings on it as not just a functional piece but a stand-alone art piece as well. I hope she liked it!

Earring holder!

I have some other craft stuff I want to do (one is making birds nest jewelry!) but I don't know that I have the time and $$ to invest in them right now. Pinterest has been a great friend to me lately! 

Speaking of Pinterest, I have also found some great new recipes for my crock-pot on there! I have been wanting to use my crock pot more, and get out of having to cook for 3 hours or so in the evenings. Now, I can throw my entree in the crock pot around noon-1ish and have it cooking for the afternoon and just make a couple of sides and dinner is done! And hubby gets to take some for lunch to work the next day, so that saves a little $$ here and there. 

My next big project is getting B potty trained. She has been showing signs of readiness for about 9 months now and about 6 months ago, we started working on it with her. We never forced anything and she used the potty a few times. After E was born, we stopped. We knew that it would take her some time to get adjusted to having a new sibling and having less mommy-all-to-herself time, and potty training would have just been harder. She is still adjusting to the new changes, but she's doing well and the only potty readiness sign that she is not displaying is the whole "not liking to be in wet/dirty diapers" sign. She could care less if you changed her diaper. She'll tell you if she's wet or poopy, but she has no problem staying in it all day. It's gross, but that just means we're going to have to work really hard to get it going. I plan to spend the majority of the day tomorrow working on potty training. After taking D to school, we'll come home and I'll put a pair of cotton training pants on her and bring her potty chair into the kitchen and just have her be in the kitchen all day. I'm thinking about giving her a penny every time she pees and 2 pennies if she poops. She likes to put money in her piggy bank, so we're going to see how that works.

I'm very grateful that God is providing for us and allowing me to stay home right now. To be completely honest, since I had changed positions at work, I was enjoying my job a lot more than I used to. Yeah, it was still hectic, and I still didn't like that it was so stressful, but I actually felt like what I did made a difference. I even got employee of the month for August! I was really good at it and it's something that I could enjoy doing. But, the cost of childcare for 3 kids was just going to be too much right now and I really wanted to be here for my babies as much as I could. I hope that I can be the mom I need to be and we can still make it work with me being home. 

Anyway, it's getting a little late now, so I'd better hit the sack :)

long overdue...

So, since it's been over 6 months since I last posted anything....

Wow. I definitely apologize for slacking there. Life has been different lately, to say the least. 

Back in March, when I last wrote anything (again, sorry for that) we had just found out that we were NOT going to be moving to Texas and would, in fact, be staying put in Mobile. Not a bad result, but definitely a stressful time period. Hubby went back to work, but it was a totally different atmosphere, as we expected it would be. In actuality, they fixed it so that he had just used up some ETO and had not officially "left" the company, so he never really quit. He did turn in his notice, but after all that mess happened, the offering company called back and made sure they would let him come back. It was a nice gesture, considering it was not hubby's fault that they were big poopy-heads. The issue became the fact that he ALMOST left and the management over his department basically used him for every trivial little thing. They used his "almost resignation" as an excuse for them to pile things up on him. He came home very frustrated almost every day. It really bothered me a lot to see that so I tried to be as helpful as I could. Then the real kicker came when it was time for his yearly evaluation. June marked his 5 year anniversary with the company. He went in for his eval, and they basically told him that they still didn't feel like he knew the system yet, so they couldn't promote him to senior support rep. If they had any actual evidence to support their claims, it would have been easier to understand. Jack continues to be one of the best support reps they have. He gets emails and letters sent back from site after site commending him on his outstanding service. It became very clear, after this eval, that he needed to make a move to get out of that department. So, he did some looking around and got set up to move to a newer department in July. It's still stressful because they are still tentative about him and the "almost" move, but it's mucho better over there. They are much more appreciative about the hard work that he does. He doesn't come home as frustrated with the management over there. 

As far as baby news... We chose not to find out what we were having this time because we already had a boy and a girl. We were just praying for a healthy baby, so we weren't really leaning towards anything else. I didn't have any pregnancy effects that were too similar to my previous pregnancies, so I couldn't guess. I intended to work up until my due date, but I felt sure that s/he would come a bit early. Imagine my surprise when I did work right up to my due date! My due date was October 28 and I delivered a beautiful baby girl on October 29! We learned from my doctor that if I wanted to have a natural delivery that I should probably stay at home for as long as possible because once I got to the hospital, they would be likely to try to get me on medicines to speed up the process. So, my water broke around 6:15 on Saturday morning, October 29. We hung out at home, called parents and got them going, and just stayed set. I walked around, sat on my birthing ball, and just tried to stay in a calm state. I wasn't really in a lot of pain at all while I was at home. Around 3ish, we decided it might be a smart idea to head to the hospital. It had already been 9 hours since my water broke and they really like to have babies delivered within 24 hours after your water breaks. I still wasn't in too much pain - barely any really. When they checked me at the hospital, I was only 4 cm dilated. I was pretty discouraged then. I had been in active labor for 9 hours and I had only gone 4 cm. At that rate, I probably wouldn't have had her until October 30th... Also, since I had gone on to the hospital, they were going to give me pitocin to speed me up. Pitocin increases (dramatically) the intensity of contractions, and I knew that I would not be able to go hours on pitocin with no help. So we got an epidural and the pitocin. I was only in the hospital for a total of 5 hours before I had her. My labor was a total of 14 hours with this one and it was just under 12 with my other two. Her first name (for all my friends who are also a member of the geek-dom) is taken from LOTR. I did look it up though :) It is also of Gaelic/Celtic origin, which is the main reason I liked it. It pays homage to Jack's Irish heritage. However, on the blog, we're just going to call her E. We've really enjoyed becoming parents again. D has been fine, of course. B is still adjusting, but she's doing really well.

Life has been stressful these last 4 months though... 

At the end of September, my Aunt (dad's sister) had to be rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery. She'd been having episodes of gout previous to that and the medicine she was taking for gout, combined with all her other medications, had started eating a hole in her stomach lining, which released gas into her abdomen. She had successful laproscopic surgery at Mobile Infirmary and was expected to make a full recovery from that. My mom and dad got her set up to go into a nursing home/rehab facility for a 21 day stay that Medicare would pay for. She had been in bad health for a while and we felt that if she was in a rehab facility, she would get her meds straight and get some physical therapy so that way she would be better capable to take care of Memaw. We didn't really know that it was the beginning of the end though. Before she got discharged from Mobile Infirmary, she tested positive for MRSA. She's had it before, and once you've had it once, it never goes away. It will go dormant, but if you ever get in an environment where it's present, it will activate. So, she was able to be discharged to the rehab facility, but we couldn't go see her without being robed and masked until the MRSA was gone. I couldn't go see her because I was pregnant and I couldn't take the kids to see her either. She was in the rehab facility for over a week before the MRSA finally deactivated. Before her 21 days were over, she got a stomach virus and got dehydrated at the facility and had to be put back in the ICU at Mobile Infirmary. After she recovered from that, she went back to the facility to finish out the stay. They decided to have her stay longer than the 21 days (since she had not really been getting any treatment) and she'd just pay OOP for it. She got well enough for the kids to see her the weekend that E was born. Mom took them by to see her before she brought them to the hospital. A short time after that, her MRSA came back for a bit. It didn't stay as long this time though. I didn't get out and really go anywhere with E until Veteran's day weekend. We went to church that Sunday and we were planning to all go up to mom's the next weekend to do out Thanksgiving with them. On that Friday, I learned that she was in the hospital again, but at Springhill. She had come down with pneumonia on Monday or Tuesday of that week and it had not gotten any better. She was not getting enough oxygen and they had her sent to Springhill so she could get hooked up to a breathing tube. We were going to leave on Saturday going up to mom's so I thought I'd stop by on my way out and take the kids (with the baby) to see her. I called mom on the way and she said not to go by because she was in ICU and not just a regular room. Dad was down there and the kids wouldn't have been allowed to go back anyway. So we went on up to mom's. Dad called mom before he left to come back up and let her know that it was not looking good. Up until that point, I had not thought that it would be that bad. When he got home, he gave us all the details. She was sent over to Springhill on Thursday evening. She was still not getting enough oxygen even after she got there though, so she signed off to be put on a ventilator. They did that on Friday and from what the doctor said, they had to work all night long to keep her from dying on Friday night. Her pneumonia was no longer just in her lungs. The infection had spread just about everywhere. All the medicine that she was taking for all the infections and everything else was causing her blood pressure to drop and they doing everything they could to keep it up. Her lungs and heart were not strong enough to keep fighting. The doctor said that she only had about a 10% chance of getting over the pneumonia and even if she did clear the infection, she would likely have to stay hooked up to a ventilator for the rest of her life. She didn't have any kind of advanced directive, so dad couldn't tell them to stop any treatment. The doctor asked him that if her heart stopped, did he want them to start it back and he said no. I don't really know how to explain emotions then. I know that she would never have wanted to live hooked up to machines. That wouldn't have been a life worth living. We all came back down to the hospital on Sunday. Mom told me that one of the times she had visited her when she was in the rehab place, she had said that she probably wouldn't make it out of Mobile and that she'd probably die down here. On the day before Thanksgiving, the doctor called dad and said that the needed to come down to make a decision about things. The infection was not getting any better and they were giving her the highest dose of blood pressure medicine that they could give her. Basically, if they gave her any more meds, the meds themselves would kill her. They had to make the decision to take her off all the meds and the ventilator. I was not present for that, but mom said it didn't take long. They had to leave the room for them to start taking her off of everything, but once they got it all off and out, which was around 3:30 pm, mom said it didn't take but about 5 minutes and she was gone. I still can't believe that she's gone. It's been a very hard Christmas for me. She was so looking forward to being able to help me with the new baby and she never even got to see her. I also don't really feel like I've had the chance to properly grieve for her. I have too much that I have to do and take care of. I'm always having to be strong for someone and it would be so nice if I could have the alone time enough to fully grasp everything. But of course, being a mom, it's hard to have any alone time. I can't complain though. Even though I've lost one of the most important women in my life, I am still blessed beyond measure. 

I only have a little over 3 weeks left on my leave, but I think we're going to try things with me staying home. If I went back to work, my paycheck would basically pay for daycare and maybe a few other things, so we're going to see how it works for me to stay home. I'm going to try to get into selling Mary Kay or Avon to help bring in some money so it won't be too hard on us. We'll see though. I haven't yet had a good long time to sit and read up on that. I tell ya, if we have another kid, I'm hoping it will not be the holiday season when we have it. I loved being off work this time of year, but it's been hard to get stuff done with a newborn and a toddler around all the time... 

Anyway, now that I have written all that I can stand to write at this moment, I'll leave it as it is. Maybe I'll get a little better about keeping up with this. Ha!